The terror of inertia
It has happened again. For a reason I cannot see I have suddenly fallen in a desperate state of inertia. I try to trace the steps in my mind back and recall how I suddenly arrived in this state. I desperately try to wrestle myself out of this mess and seek inspiration everywhere. It hurts, living like this. The worst part is, I cannot even comprehend the emotion I am feeling. It isn’t loneliness. Is it sorrow, because I failed? I feel in a dark state of nothingness. A true state of inertia. Neither do I want to live, neither do I want to die. I only live because I am alive, and I waste my time on everything which passes the time a little bit. Until the day is over and I can go to sleep. Hoping the next day will be different….
Then the next morning arrives, and I cannot come out of bed. The horrible feeling of inertia still exists. Why should I even get out of bed if nothing excites me? And if this is truly a horrible feeling, how can I get rid of it. How can I improve myself? How can I feel again….?
First of all one must realize a truth. These moments of despair and depression are sometimes necessary. Your whole body and spirit are telling you, your system is not working and something needs to change. What is it that you truly desire in life? Where do you want your adventure to take you? A difficult question which only reveals itself trough time. However, it is always wise to think about it. While you may have already acknowledged these errors in your system, and you are actively trying to improve them, you may experience withdrawal symptoms. The key to getting out of this fase quickly is to accept your current state. Accept you falling is a necessary part of your growth and each time you pick yourself up again you grow stronger. Forgive yourself. Trust me, hating yourself will not go well.
Often we do NOT want to accept that we have fallen. Not only that, but often we do not think we are worthy of achieving our goal and despise ourselfs in the process. This something very important and I will address this issue later. We do not want to accept our failure and hopelessy try to distract us from our emotional turmoil by seeking out to friends, movies, food and any other addictions. While this may be fine and it can sometimes help you indeed. The key here is to acknowledge you often try to run away because you are like a child who cannot face his negative emotions. It might seem hard, but it is the truth. To further improve yourself one should face these emotions of failure and by facing them internally. You will notice if you are just sitting lonely in your room. You feel uncomfortable and will instantly go to Youtube, social media or induldge in your cravings. When you ignore or sacrifice these, you will ascend to the next level (in Dragonball Z terms haha). One should not be depended on any other factor of the external world and just focus on this intangible vague thing called willpower and desires. The more you do this, the more you feel this, just like the wind. Just like training a muscle, this way you are training your willpower. And the next time, you may experience a fall in vitality for whatever reason, you are stronger. This will keep happening until one day, nothing can bring you down. You are one the very strongest then. Able to bring a true shockwave in yourself and others. Just keep your vision alive and make it your sole focus!
Ready, set, go!